“Yea, but do I look fat?”
This is one of the most common questions I hear. If it’s not that, it’s:
“Can you tell I’ve been working out?” “Don’t I look leaner?” “Don’t I look fit?” “Do you think I look too small?” “Does this make me look fat?” and on and on and on.
We’re a society that is hyperfocused on physical appearance and more specifically what physical appearance means about our life and ourselves as a person. Do you ever feel like you have it all together when you’re “in shape” but as soon as you get “out of shape” you feel lost, lazy, and all over the place?
Why is it that we associate our physical appearance to our value and worth in life? It’s like “yea…I’m sorry but because you or I are leaner….we’re all of a sudden a better, more moral, more put-together human being?”
Nope, not buying it.
Now, I think most of us can agree that the above is not true but a lot of days it can definitely feel that way. Why? Because media and society make it seem SO real.
Now, I’m not saying that being physically active or feeling good in our bodies is not amazing nor is it not something that gives us confidence, however, entangling our self-worth in that is not beneficial to ourselves nor to the people around us.
So here’s this: When you’re asking someone one of the above questions, ask yourself does the answer you receive really make a difference for you? If it does, does it make a difference for you long-term or is it just in that moment that you all of a sudden feel validated and better about yourself? Is it really about your weight and your body or is there something else that is bothering you?
For me, it’s been so helpful to realize that no matter what someone’s response to my question is, I never feel satisfied. Why? Because their response does not change the way I feel in that moment nor does it change what is actually bothering me. So why ask the question?
Their response can only provide us with their perception of our own physical body. By the way, each individual will have their own perception of anything and everything they see, which in turn in VERY different than the way we may see things. Think about that. Why base how you see and feel in your body on what someone else may see and think?
So a few things to leave you with this morning:
1. Does it really make a difference for you in asking those questions? If not, stop it. The answer isn’t doing you any good.
2. You don’t have to feel 100% great with your body everyday. It’s normal not to.
3. Don’t beat yourself up over a feeling. Life is way too short for that and feelings and emotions can change in a matter or seconds or minutes.
4. Just because you have fat does not mean you are fat. Our bodies need fat to function properly so thank goodness for that.
5. Maybe start asking questions worth your time not questions that determine your worth based on someone else’s standards
6. Spend your time asking more valuable questions today 🙂 and enjoy your Saturday !
From my belly to yours,